Young, Black, Christian, and SINGLE

This weekend many of the married couples at my church went on a marriage retreat to Williamsburg, Va. My church is a small one, so the absence of all the couples did not go unnoticed during today's worship service. As I walked into the church, I was greeted by one of the few people who was married but not away on the trip. He greeted me with a smile and said, "Welcome to the Single's Retreat!"

I laughed and kept walking but later I reflected on his comment. I scanned the sanctuary and actually took note of all those who were single in the room. We were in the majority, for once. I noticed that most of the "singles" were women, outnumbering the men by at least 8 to 1. I also noticed that most of these women were 50+, either divorced or widowed. When you subtracted those people, you were left with precious few who had never been married and who were under the age of 40. I was in that number.

I thought about the lack of support for single people at my church. Once I spoke with my boyfriend about the need for a single's ministry at our church. He said that it was not necessary and that single people had the men's and women's ministry to belong to. I disagreed. Married people can also be a part of the men's and women's ministries, but they also had the Married Couples Ministry where they could discuss issues, concerns, Biblical truths, and support each other as people with a common thread joined together for one agenda. I am still convinced that this needs to happen for singles at our church.

Today I felt the disconnect. I wondered that if the situation were reversed, if all the single people had gone away to a retreat for the weekend, would the married couples have seem so disconnected from one another? Or would the fact that they meet monthly and have rousing Marriage Ministry meetings have caused them to be a little more in tune with one another, a little more aware of each other? I truly believe it would.

A short while ago, a young (in her 70s) sister at the church said something that resonated with me. She was praying. She asked God to bless single people because "we don't have a disease." Or something to that effect. Her point was that we are people, too. Over time, I have learned that the Bible has a lot to say about single people. And one thing I know for sure is that Jesus did not relegate single people to the "back of the bus" so to speak when it came to doing the work of God, or just acknowledging the purpose of single people. Sometimes I think that we focus so much on marriage that we lose sight of singleness and all that it entails (the challenges, the fears, the hurts, the joys, the possibilities).

In my mind, a vision of singles ministry formed that is inclusive of all singles (young and young at heart). What I envision certainly would be something that would affirm and celebrate singleness, but not exclude the possibilities of marriage for those in whose life plan marriage will one day materialize. in fact, if a single's ministry is working the way it should, it would help to prepare single people for marriage, if that is their ultimate desire and it's in God's plan for them. I say this because a single's ministry, in my opinion, should be dedicated to the development of maturity, character, integrity, and stability in the lives of single Christians.

I don't necessarily know if I'm the one who is being called to lead this group, but it is so necessary. There is a growing number of people who are single by choice, some of them raising kids alone. And there are others for whom a life mate has not yet been given them. And all of it is okay. All of these are circumstances and life seasons that God can and does work within.

A quick scan of some singles ministry websites gave me some valuable thoughts to ponder, insight into why single's ministries are vital to the lives of many single Christians:

• Though there may be a season (or two) in our lives when we are alone, that we should never be lonely.
• There is nothing wrong with you if you’re single. (Refer back to the quote listed above from my single sister)
• Your happiness today should NOT have anything to do with your marital status.
• Your destiny starts today; don't wait (until after you walk down the aisle) to really start living.

What the list above represents is actually a listing of things that all singles should keep in their hearts and minds, regardless of whether a person is single by choice or by circumstance. And, if you look at the purpose and intent of many marriage ministries, you'll see that the fundamental purpose of the ministries are similar to singles ministries.

Anyway, I guess this long post is just to say that I'm single and tired of allowing society to make me feel like I'm not a part of some exclusive club. I feel that it's high time the church acknowledge and embrace single people fully and with the same care, concern, and interest that they do married couples. Surely, all of those married couples were not married from birth. At some point in their lives they were single and they had a journey through singledom that led them to the place they are today. When we ignore this part of the journey, we are ignoring a part of the lifelong pathway to God.

Invasion of the Blacks and Browns

The County where I reside (Charles County, Maryland) has largely been a homogenous population largely composed of individuals of European descent. Over time, the people in this area became used to their way of life, used to seeing an image mirroring themselves when they went into a store, went shopping, entered a court of law, or patronized other places of business...even as they walked outside of their house in the morning to get the paper and waved to the next-door neighbor.

Well, times are a-changin'. Those same people may walk outside in the morning and see a Black or Brown face staring at them across the driveway. And, in some of the Mom and Pop shops where everybody knows everybody there are some new faces that don't resemble the ones who are behind the counter, or sitting at their customary table in the corner.

For some, change is difficult. It evokes a fear that the way of life that has been in place for years may one day no longer exist. There is evidence that the fear of change has permeated the area where I live because recent news outlets such as The Washington Post repeatedly reported, with alarming statistics, that African-American schoolchildren are now the majority in Charles County.

Stop the presses! The fact that this story has been published in at least three separate editions of The Post is a clear indicator of just how highly this particular news item is valued. The article poses such education-related questions as: will test scores now plummet with Black students being in the majority? But it also raises more questions than it asks and hints at more than it blatantly states. For example, the article states that: "Black enrollment in Charles grew by about 700 students this year, and white enrollment decreased by about the same number." By itself, this statistic hints at the Black migration pattern and the "White flight" that is also occurring in this historically rural County.

As I read the article, I could almost sense the growing panic of my European neighbors, wondering if this area would become overrun with the horror-stories they hear about on the news every night in places like D.C. and Prince George's County. It was almost as if I could hear the laments over the potential loss of the idyllic Utopian society that they had spent years building, and the simultaneous locking of doors to keep out the crime that more Blacks undoubtedly will bring to these safe suburbs.

Some might say that I am overreacting, that people aren't really interpeting this bit of news in this manner. Well, then the burning question is: why is this such big news? Why run it over and over again? There must be interest. There must be concern. There must be a sense of "they've taken over our schools, now what's next?!" There is a need to know that this trend is happening and that it's happening fast (According to The Post's analysis of recent Census data, Charles County is "the fastest-growing black population of any large jurisdiction in the nation except the Atlanta suburbs.)

For some, it is a slight comfort to know that the Blacks who are migrating to Charles County are people of means (translation: law-abiding, intelligent, affluent people of color who probably don't like hip-hop/rap music -- or don't play it loud). See, it's not so bad after all. And test scores haven't plummeted (yet) and in some areas, it has improved (of course, that's only because we've anticipated the change in demographics and made sure that we are helping these little Black kids to come up to the learning levels of their White counterparts).

Forgive my dripping sarcasm here, but this really concerns me. News is the appearance of gang signs and symbols. News is the racist graffiti that has popped up recently, and the spraypainting of mailboxes in neighborhoods with racial slurs. News is the lack of Black teachers in our school systems, the utter lack of diversity in the upper ranks of several institutions within this County. The trend of Black people moving in is not news. It is simply that we are finally becoming more diverse and that's a good thing.

Jena 6 and Others

On the morning radio talk shows, I listen intently to coverage of Jena 6 and the situation with the six young Black boys in Jena, La. This morning on the Steve Harvey Morning Show, Steve talked with the Rev. Jesse Jackson. I admired his probing questions about what can be done, what purposeful action can be taken to make a difference where these boys' lives are concerned. And, while I am thrilled that a situation that for too long languished in obscurity, off the radar screen of the mainstream media, I think of all of the others who will not be known as the "Jena 6" or by any other name, but will suffer the same fate.

I am glad that Steve Harvey had to the wherewithal to call out the culprit of this injustice, the insidious force that caused six high school boys to be railroaded through the legal system. This same force caused them to be in this precarious situation of having to wonder and wait to see if their futures will be spent in freedom or behind prison walls, and all for what equates to nothing more than a schoolyard fight. That force, the culprit, the only person, place, or thing that should be standing trial right now is racism. Too many of our news reporters and media personalities are afraid to use the word. Thanks, Steve Harvey, for making it plain.

I used to work for an organization that had as its mission the promotion of racial justice and the proliferation of a racial justice movement in this society. I felt privileged to have as my career a position that required me to scrutinize the many ways that people of color are discriminated against, held back, held up, subjugated, and overlooked. In this day and time, people say, it is hard to believe that this type of injustice persists. I say, in any day and time, it is just plain wrong.

Unfortunately, I cannot be among those persons who will be traveling to Jena, La. on Sept. 20th to show support for Mychal Bell, the first of the six boys to face sentencing. I hope it is not too late for Mr. Bell. I pray that the spirit of God will descend upon the judge and anoint him with a sense of justice in delivering his interpretation of a fair and equitable punishment to fit the "crime." I pray that the judge will not use Mr. Bell's prior record or history against him as he levys the sentence. I pray that some of the pressure that has been applied by anti-racism and civil rights advocates falls upon his heart and his ears on that day as he renders the decision. Oh, for these things I pray unceasingly.

But I also pray for the other boys and girls--the nameless, faceless young men and women who are facing unjust persecution today because of the color of their skin. I pray that even though the world may never know them by name, that there are people who will take interest in them, who will care about them enough to help them in their time of need. And I pray the someday I will be able to look at my child, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren and not think about the need to teach them about an ugly word such as racism because by then it will have ceased to exist.

In the meantime, I think I will write to Mychal Bell in prison, to send him some encouragement and uplift as he sits in jail waiting for sentencing. If you'd like to write to Mychal, send letters to:

Mychal Bell Inmate, A-Dorm LaSalle Correctional Center 15976 Highway 165 Olla, LA 71465-4801

I'm BAAAAAAAACK!

It's been a long time. I can't believe how fast the months fly by. When I checked back to the blog, I noticed that I last posted in February 2006 and now it's almost the end of '07. Well, so much has happened since I last posted. I have a new job. I work for local government now. Went from the big city (D.C.) to a small town. And I went from the private sector to the public sector -- BIG DIFFERENCE! But as with all things, time allows for adjustment and I'm settling in ok. It's weird because people always said that working for the government there is so much job security. I mean, people said to me that you literally have to embezzle money or something outlandish like that to be fired. Not true. There are folks where I work that are so concerned about possibly losing their job that if you hand them a nice thank-you note, they look at you with fear and wonder whether there is a pink slip inside. It's real like that.

But a friend of mine (well, two friend, actually) sent me links to their blogs recently. They were my inspiration for getting back into the swing of things. And also, my new job allows me to get home much earlier than before. I have time to have a life again, to do something beyond commuting to and from work every morning and night. You'd think with all that extra time I'd be writing a book, or starting a business. Unfortunately, inspiration comes in waves with me. I'd rather attempt (for the 99th time) to go back to the gym on a regular basis, or just catch up with some reading (books and magazines) that I've let slide. The trick is finding balance. Taking time for me and not crowding my schedule with "too much" of any one thing.

Anyway, I'm going to try to write something every day -- whether it's an interesting thing that happened to me or someone I know, or an insightful analysis of something in the recent news headlines, or just some questions that may require us to pause and think. And if I am able to contribute something to this vast blogosphere that people find interesting and/or enlightening, then so be it. If not, that's okay too. But it will be fun just going through the motions.

God bless!

The Freedom Fight is Not Over

Hallelujah, we are free at last! Surely the freed men and women in Galveston, Texas, who spent years in under the backbreaking yoke of slavery, shouted these words or something similar upward to heaven, when they received the jubilant news that their long-awaited day of freedom had finally arrived. But as they made the trek from the Old South where they lived in bondage to the North, which held the promise of new life and new beginnings, their overwhelming joy tinged with fear of the unknown paths that lay before them. And rightfully so; even though they had been loosed from the shackles of physical slavery, they were unaware that their generation and generations to come were standing at the precipice of a covert form of bondage plagued by racism, inequity, and injustice, and reserved for people of color.

Today, June 19, marks the 142nd anniversary of Juneteenth, which is the oldest nationally celebrated commemoration of the ending of slavery in the United States. Originating in Galveston in 1865, Juneteenth is an acknowledgement of a chapter in our country’s history that continues to shape and influence our society today. What the celebration of Juneteenth causes us to ponder, however, is what freedom truly means and it prompts us to look introspectively at whether we, as people of color, are truly free today.

Because Juneteenth is now nationally recognized, slavery can no longer be relegated to the back burner of history. No longer can America deny the existence or historical significance of this pivotal chapter in our nation’s history. But we can also no longer afford to turn a blind eye to those actions and institutions that, being advanced in the name of progress, actually hearken to the Jim Crow era days of slavery. The only difference is that now the “slaves” are not the Africans, who were forcibly transported to American soil, but the modern day “slaves” are the Black and Brown people who inhabit this land, pay taxes to the government, and make up the workforce population, but are overworked, overlooked, underpaid, underestimated, undervalued, and undercut every day.

Harriet Tubman, the feisty matron who risked life and limb to spirit hundreds of slaves to freedom via the Underground Railroad, said of her freedom experience: “I had crossed the line. I was free; but there was no one to welcome me to the land of freedom. I was a stranger in a strange land.” Her words resonate and ring with truth today because, even today, people of color are treated as strangers in a land that was built on and continues to thrive because of the sweat of our brows and the strength of our backs. With the Juneteenth commemorative ceremonies under way in at least 14 states across this country, it’s time to stop and think about the racial injustices that are hurting individuals and communities of color, identify the underlying problems, and take action to change. Without change, people of color will continue under the yoke of racism, unable to taste the sweetness of true freedom.

Whose News Is It Anyway?

In the wake of the racist Don Imus commentary, Media Matters for America conducted a study of the race and gender diversity of hosts and guests on prime-time cable news programs. At the peak of the Imus controversy, program hosts pursued African Americans and other people of color for comments on the topic. Was this just an anomaly in the cable news world? Are people of color only invited to speak on subjects dealing with race and racism but overlooked as experts in other subject matters? The Media Matters study sought to address these and other tough questions and found a disturbingly familiar trend: while a significant number of Blacks were on cable news programs (CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC) the week of the Imus controversy, White hosts and guests dominated the airwaves both before and after Imus faded from the media spotlight. The data confirmed what we knew to be true—cable news media is still a world of White, peppered by people of color only as the need arises.

The study reported that “in none of the three weeks did Latinos, Asian Americans, or any ethnicity other than African Americans make up more than five percent of the guests on any network.” It is appalling how these programs tout themselves as being the expert source for news and frequently report and comment on issues of concern to communities of color, yet don’t consult with or feature the people affected.

When viewed in the context of these and other statistics about racial diversity in the media, we find an explanation for the racist, biased characterizations of Hurricane Katrina survivors in the news media as looters and criminals. These and other racially polarized news items are the products of a media machine that consists of White males pontificating about the plight of African Americans and other people of color while excluding the same from the discussion.

The media, as an institution, shapes the perceptions of how America views people of color. Without the voices of people of color, the media sensationalizes racial conflicts and controversies, such as Don Imus, without exploring the historical reasons behind these events. Without Blacks, Latinos, and Asian Americans as guests and hosts on prime-time cable news programs, issues affecting communities of color—urbanization, poverty, education, health care—are not given the attention they deserve and are analyzed from a one-sided point of view. It’s time that the news media recognizes that “the public” does not refer solely to White Americans, but that the persons reporting on and commenting about the news should be representative of the diversity of the American population.

Race Under the Rug

A recent post on MyDD.com called “Hidden Racism” talks about a decision by CBSNews.com to disable the comment feature on stories about Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama. Blogger Jerome Armstrong asserts that CBS is employing a double standard that is not being applied to the other candidates to hide the racist comments that are being made about Obama stories. Armstrong argues that instead of hiding these racist views we should be putting a spotlight on the ignorance of such racists, and he advocates “having a place where the sun can shine on these racists, and holding the politicians who cater to them accountable.”

The mere fact that CBSNews.com is receiving this magnitude of incendiary emails in response to stories about Obama tells us that racism is, indeed, a major factor in this presidential race, despite some arguments to the contrary. And preventing everyone from sharing their comments on the CBSNews.com website is only a panacea for a larger problem. Sweeping race under the rug isn’t the solution. By taking the easy way out—canning all comments instead of filtering the “trash” that is coming in—CBS is giving ammunition to these racist factions who would like nothing better than to see all coverage of Obama and his run for the presidency just disappear.

The general consensus of MyDD’s readers on this issue is that this was a bad move for CBS and they are missing out on a golden opportunity to raise awareness about and promote broad discussion about race. One commenter said that “racism is real and it affects the presidential race.” We say invest the manpower, CBS, in moderating the comments on these articles, ban the “loose cannons” who launch derogatory, personal attacks against Obama, and elevate the consciousness of the general public about the realities of race and its role in the 2008 election.

Getting Away With Murder

The federal government is not going to be held liable in at least two of the hundreds of deaths resulting from their failure to respond to the crisis following Hurricane Katrina. Their public apology for the “errors” that were made after Katrina made landfall are little comfort for victims’ families who are seeking justice for the death of their loved ones.

If it’s not the government’s fault that their inaction left 91-year-old Ethel Mayo Freeman to die in the sweltering heat outside of the convention center in New Orleans, then whose fault is it?
Who will be held accountable for these and other untimely deaths? It’s time the government is held responsible for the way they ignored the poor, Black residents of New Orleans whose lives were devastated by the hurricanes.

In the wrongful death suit brought by Freeman’s son, the judge wrote in his decision: “one can only speculate at this point whether these mistakes caused the tragic deaths of the decedents.”

The word “mistakes” implies that the government’s actions were beyond their control. But, the government had the capacity to aid survivors but instead left people stranded for days without food or water. They were left to die. Deliberate inaction is as egregious as willful action.